Abandonment and Divorce

Abandonment is a very common factor that affects divorce cases. It might come as a surprise but abandonment clearly lurks in the past of divorcing couples whose divorce just goes on due to conflicts that keep surfacing without any resolutions in sight. Moreover abandonment can also be traced in childhood histories of couples who return to court more than two or three years of being technically divorced. If you are facing a potential abandonment issue in your divorce case, then call a divorce lawyer in the Columbus Georgia area for legal advice.

Abandonment issues can be of various types and the effect on a divorce can also be varied. There are no set symbols or happenings which can directly be linked to abandonment but in high conflict divorce cases, slight scratching of the surfaces reveal abandonment trauma during childhood.

The most common form of abandonment is desertion by a parent. This can occur due to death one parent also. The same abandonment effect surfaces even if one of the parents is ill and hence away at hospital or is unavailable to spend time and energy with child. The child perceives all these scenarios as cases of abandonment and reacts likewise. A substance or alcohol addict cannot be a good parent since he is not emotionally available for the child and similarly adopted children also harbor feelings of abandonment.

If couples who have abandonment issue are getting divorced, very often the emotional strain reactivates the previous abandonment trauma. The result is bad, outrageous behavior which can even harm the children involved. Such cases have seen irrational behavior from spouses like one spouse setting the other spouse’s house on fire. These bizarre acts are committed during unconscious attacks of inappropriate behavior and in events where this occurs after divorce when issues of modifying child support and visitation routines are being addressed.

Most children perceive divorce of their parents as a form of abandonment. This becomes more prominent if one of the parents moves away and fails to make regular visits or does not follow the visitation routines as agreed upon. The children feel that they are being neglected and feel responsible for the adverse happenings around them. Thus a child who feels he is being abandoned behaves strangely and in unfortunate ways like being inconsolable at the death of a pet or moving away of friends etc. Some children try to achieve more than normal in a hope to attract the parent who deserted him.

Counseling can help in most cases of abandonment. In divorce cases the attorney should be made aware of abandonment histories so that divorce related issues can be handled carefully. The divorce attorney should be made aware that feelings of abandonment exists which can lead to potentially destructive actions and hence delicate divorce issues should be handled sensitively.